I know it's beautiful because when I get this feeling, this calling, the emotion of it is actually quite familiar. I feel like I'm deeply, intensely, earth-shatteringly in love.
Now, there may be a million things that I don't know how to do, but one thing I know with absolute certainty that I can do is love. I've been in and out of relationships and engagements and love affairs for 16 years now, and I know what it feels like to be in love. All kinds of love. And this feeling in particular that I've been having is that most delicious of loves- juicy and sweet and powerful and tender, like the energy emanating from your heart is so much bigger than your body; physical form is much too limited to contain it. The kind you can feel all the way in your toes. The kind that makes you glow. It's sparkling and bright and makes me feel like the absolutely best version of me than I can be.
Now, usually I'd have a place to put all that love, somewhere to direct it- usually a to lover (I'm really good at that), sometimes a friend, or even a pet. But lately I haven't had anywhere to put all that extra love coursing through me. It just wells up until I hardly know what to do with myself and I begin to feel kind of lost. Maybe you know what that feels like. It becomes terribly overwhelming.
However, something rather remarkable happened the other day as I was driving around with a friend. That overwhelming emotion started to well up in me again and my heart started to expand to let it all in, and just before I started having a panic attack at how big it was (and the fact that I didn't know what to do with it), that voice at the back of my mind finally spoke all the way up. And it gave me the simplest, yet most unexpected, radical (for me) idea:
Give it to yourself, darling. You deserve it too.
So I hesitated for a moment, wondered if it was even possible... and then I did it anyway. All of the love in my heart, in my soul, from everywhere in my body and beyond, I gave it all to myself. I allowed myself to feel perfectly loved, understood, respected, treasured, and adored simply for being glorious me. For a moment, I treated my own heart as I would a lover's- with joy, kindness, and gentle, sweet caresses of understanding. I love you, I thought to myself. I honor you. I cherish you. You are beautiful and lovely and you deserve all of the good things you are about to bring into your life. Don't give up.
Now, every day, I try to remember to give myself love. I tell myself all the little things I adore about being me, including how beautiful I think I am, and how grateful I am to have myself in my life and to enjoy my own company! It's the greatest love affair I think I've ever had, and it's completely unconditional and absolutely limitless!
Today, try to take a few minutes and give yourself all the love in your heart. Know that you deserve it, that you are worthy of it and so much more. You are beautiful, darling. Give it to yourself. Give it all. It'll be worth it.
Love,
Lindsay