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(Me on the right, laughing my heart out with fellow goddesses: Jaimes and Sarah)


I love meeting new people, but it's been a while since I've taken the time to really open myself up and let someone new get to know me. It's been a while since I've had to open up the big book of Lindsay and had to attempt to explain to someone new the ins and outs of my personality and life. But here in this new job, I'm getting to know lots of new people who are asking me interesting questions and want to know about who I am. It shines a light for me on the ways I've changed over the years and the person I've grown into.

The past few years have been filled with change for me, on all levels. I've undertaken quite a journey through spirituality over a number of years and have changed my ideals about what spirituality means to me and what kind of a spiritual life I want to have. Psychologically I've dealt with many challenges to my psyche, from learning how to accept my diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder, to learning how to not let it define me and living with authenticity and balance (more on that later). I fell in love with my best friend of fifteen years and watched as our romantic relationship evaporated, and had to learn to navigate our way back into the friendship we so valued while letting go of the romance. I've changed my physical living location half a dozen times, let friendships and relationships run their courses in my life with positivity and love, and tried a handful of new careers.

It seems that since the last time I opened up the big book of Lindsay, I've become a brand new person.  And I've realized that the time has come to write a new book. 

In this new book, I am actually shining my light freely and openly to the world, rather than hiding myself in a corner out of fear of rejection (or, more accurately, rejection of self). I am giving myself the freedom to explore who I am and the possibilities for the kind of person that I want to be, and I'm learning new things all the time. 

 The other day I realized something so crucial to my well-being and my own personal idea of happiness: I am absolutely devoted to my personal spiritual/soul evolution. I've begun taking classes and e-courses on subjects like happiness and living with love, I watch videos and listen to interviews with wise men and women and take notes on the things that I believe will enrich my life, I participate in creating supportive environments, both online and in my physical life, I read voraciously on the subject, etc. More than anything, I simply try to let my life be an authentic reflection of the divinity I feel within.


I started to explain this to my goddess sister and dear friend, Jaimes, the other day and she sweetly interrupted me with a bit of laughter and the exclamation, "But dear, you've ALWAYS done that! It's one of my favorite things about you! No matter how dark, you will always find the spark of light." It nearly brought me to tears and simultaneous giggles that, first of all, someone I value so dearly would have that opinion of me, and secondly, that apparently there are aspects to myself that have always been present that I'm only now discovering! How exciting to find that you yourself are a treasure map of beauty and wonder just waiting to reveal its treasures!

How overwhelming and lovely self-discovery/creation can be when you allow your energy to flow naturally with the world. It reminds me of a quote I heard somewhere, "Sometimes we must let go of who we are in order to become who we are meant to be." And what a beautiful process that can be.


Time to write a new book of me. I wonder what kind of story I will tell?

 


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